Somehow, poop got into our washing machine. It could be that a grownup didn't realize there was poop in the short one's pants when we put them into the wash. It could be that the short one emptied his potty into the washing machine instead of the toilet. It could be that the short one didn't want us to know he had pooped in his pants so he put them into the washing machine with poop still in them.
However it happened, I didn't know about it until I had finished a load of laundry. I opened the door to put the clothes in the dryer, and said, what's this? I found a paper towel, picked up the soggy, squishy thing, and realized it was a turd. The rubber catcher in the front of my front-loader had a bunch more little turds. So I thought, these clothes need to be washed again, if they were washed with poop, so I put them through again. And again, when I opened the door, there was more poop in the rubber catcher thingie.
So, after I cleared out the rest of the (soggy, stinky) poop, I tried my favorite deodorizing strategy - I washed the clothes with vinegar. They still smelled like poop. So I washed them with my wimpy safe-for-the-environment bleach. Still stinky. At this point I've looked on line to find out how to deodorize my washing machine, and went out to get borax. I ran the machine with borax and hot water, and nothing else. At least I now knew the washing machine wasn't adding stink to clothes. I also ran my contaminated load with borax and detergent, to get the stink out.
When that didn't work, I soaked them overnight in a bathtub full of hot water and borax. Since I have a front loader, they can't soak very effectively inside the washing machine. In the morning, the water was black, my brand-new black top was less black, but at least the smell was less. So I ran them again through the washing machine, and this time even dried them.
At this point, I was smelling poop everywhere. It's like paranoia for the nose. I couldn't tell if I was imagining the smell on the clothes, since I thought I smelled poop in the living room, in the car, by my desk, just about everywhere. So I asked my hubby when he got home if he smelled poop. He did.
We researched more things we could try, including an enzyme solution found in pet stores. So I went to a pet store to get it. They suggested I use it twice in a row, which I did. When we pulled it out, my DH (that's Dear Husband) smelled some underpants and declared them poop free. He handed me a towel, and I agreed. So into the drier they went, except for my new shirt and a shirt of his. But when I sniffed my shirt, it smelled a little bit poopy.
Now, my DH pointed out that I had to sniff very hard to smell the poop, but what if it's like perfume, the scent gets stronger as your skin warms up? I could go for a walk and attract every dog in the neighborhood. But I don't know if there's anything else I can do. When the rain lets up, I might try to hang the shirt outside and let it air out, and hope the neighborhood pets leave it alone. Some day I hope to look back on this and laugh. Right now, I hope I don't have to throw away my brand new shirt.
BTW, when I asked my DS (Dear Son, aka The Short One) if he put the poop in the washing machine, he said no, a bad guy did it. I hope, after washing the same clothes eight times, six of them without poop, he realizes he shouldn't do it again. If, that is, he was the bad guy.